A Little More Time

My newest thing. It had been stuck in my head for a few days and I tried to deny it, but I failed. When I was first thinking about it, it seemed like it could be a music video or maybe just a short mini movie kind of thing. Just before I had to write it a phrase go stuck in my head that sounded like it could be song lyrics.

Wake up, baby. I don't have much longer and I have to say "I love you" one more time.

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The room was dark and I walked across the wood floor. It was cold, though my feet made no sound. Or maybe I just knew it was cold with the snow outside. I passed through the shoes on the floor, but I went around the side of the bed and knelt there. My face was level with his and I watched him breathe deeply as he slept.

My sorrow was swelling in my chest, threatening waves in my eyes, but I held it back.

I jumped at the sound of his phone ringing on the side table. It rang three times before he stirred. He started to reach toward the night stand, and I moved out of the way hastily. I only realized afterwards that it wouldn’t have made a difference.

He answered, and I don’t know how, but I knew that this was the call. I watched him carefully as his expression fell, as he turned and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand ran over his eyes and mouth. He left his eyes closed, thanked the caller, and hung up the phone, setting it beside him carefully.

His knuckles turned whiter and whiter as his clutched his hands in his lap. He choked and then the tears came. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I threw my arms around him, they didn’t go through him, but I still couldn’t feel his warmth. Tears poured from my eyes as I called his name, trying to comfort him, telling him that I could still be alright, begging him not to worry, and not to give up on me yet.

I was being torn from the inside out as I watched him break and could do nothing. I didn’t understand how I could still feel this much.

I didn’t leave even as he threw things at the wall, the shattered pieces falling through me. I stayed as he screamed into his sheets and when he finally was overcome with sleep, I laid next to him, invisible, not making a single dent in the mattress. Not once did the tears stop flowing from my eyes though they lessened.

I knew this was how it was going to end; we would both be helpless, divided.

Morning was coming and that I didn’t have much longer with him like this. I was reluctant to move, let alone to leave. I just needed a little more time.

I couldn’t stop myself again, as wrong as it was, to reach out and stroke his face, folding my hand around the curve of his cheek. The tears came hot yet again as his warmth seeped through my fingers. Light began to trace around my shape, shadowed on his face and I watched it change as he began to wake.

His eyes flashed open suddenly and he looked right at me. He blinked, then his hand flashed out grabbing mine and he brought my lips to his.

It was like I was alive again and as impossible as this was I couldn’t deny it. My body was so real as he pulled me onto the bed with him. He held me like that, kissing me and wiping the tears off of my face.

As the time passed I could feel him less and less and I could see his panic as he felt it too. I was already too far gone before I realized it was my last moment. I knew I couldn’t speak if I tried, so I smiled through the tears, stroked his face and kissed him one last time.

I could feel the plead in his kiss, but I couldn’t comply. I stood and continued to face him as I let the light take me.



I was just getting used to the light when it abruptly ended and became darkness. Slowly I began to hear sounds that I didn’t expect, feel things that didn’t make sense….

I opened my eyes, knowing instantly where I was and why, along with who was here with me.

I turned my head on the pillow being careful not to move too much with what felt like a million things strapped to me. I could hear my heart rate quicken on the monitor as my eyes landed on him.

He was staring at me, eyes wide in shock. I smiled again.

“I’m sorry I made you cry.” I whispered.

And he cried again bringing my hand and anything else he wasn’t afraid to touch to his lips.