A story idea that I got not too long ago. I believe it was early last summer. This is my second attempt at writing in a guys point of view and as you can more than likely tell, I'm not very good at it. It's especially difficult with Alec's character. His personality is so dark, intense, and pissy, but at the same time full of self-loathing...and in some way pity. I went and put two very unknown things to me and am trying to say how this person would act and feel...it's a challenge.
A little about Alec.
Life has dealt him a hard hand and he has gone through many trials, though how he came through is mostly known to him, but not entirely positive.
He's left a lot behind, a lot foresaken and deals with things in a stereotypical way that is becoming more and more common these days.
To him it makes everything all right, but his world of the rising rock star isn't as distracting as he'd thought and things are about to change. ;)
Playlist at the bottom.
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My eyes shot open, but I didn’t gasp. I hadn’t slept again.
“Al!” came a muffled voice behind the door that had just been pounded on for no good reason at all. “Al, dude, we gotta get goin’!”
I closed my eyes again. I could feel the headache starting to come back.
“Al!” there was more pounding.
I twitched and held my breath. I practically stormed out of the bed and snatched the pack of cigarettes off of the side table, lighting one with the lighter that was next to it.
After putting the pack and lighter in my pocket, I walked to the door as he continued to make a hell of a lot of noise on the other side of it.
I took a nice deep draw, breathing out, my temper going back down almost instantly. It was only then that I allowed myself to reach out for the door.
I opened it, James standing on the other side of it. His eyebrow piercing pulled his skin in an awkward way as he frowned, looking at my bare chest.
“Alec! Dude! What the hell? We’ve got a plane leaving in an hour!”
I bit back my reaction as I always did. I didn’t like it when someone used my full name. It sounded devilish, but then again…it was fitting.
I turned around as he continued rambling, sighing a cloud of smoke. I found my shirt from last night on the floor and laid my cigarette in the ash tray a moment to put it on.
As I picked up the cigarette again I noticed something stirring on the bed out of the corner of my eye. James didn’t comment and I hadn’t expected him to. This wasn’t unusual.
I’d forgotten about the girl, but I had told her that I would more than likely not be there when she woke up. She was lucky. I was usually long gone by now, but I was reluctant to get on the plane this time. It’d been a long time since I was in California.
I picked up my untouched bags by the door, handed one to James, and slung my guitar over my shoulder. I followed James out of the hotel a few curious eyes remaining on the door I’d just shut, but it was already gone to me.
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“You’ve changed.” I mumbled, not meaning for her to hear it, but she did.
“I had to.” She replied. Her voice didn’t waver.
“Why?” I said before I even realized I wanted to say it.
“I couldn’t be the girl you said you’d come back to anymore, even though she had stopped waiting for you.”
I couldn’t respond.
Elaina shrugged, “I just figured you met someone and got married a long time ago.” she said the sentence like it was over-used and it made her tired.
“Why would you think that?”
“You didn’t call, Alec.” She said like all it was was a fact. I didn’t understand the look in her eyes. “What was I supposed to think after six months, let alone six years.”
This hit me hard in the chest, but it was the truth. I took the pain because I deserved it, but she didn’t.
“I told you I’d always love you.”
“Yes, but you never said that you couldn’t love someone else more.” She said sternly, but quietly.
How long had she been thinking that? And I let her. I made her think that.
“You’re right…I didn’t.” I said quietly, almost to myself, realizing it for the first time.
“I’m sorry.” I said, but it sounded like it meant nothing.
Elaina said nothing, but I could see her jaw was clenched.
“I know that-that doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I really…am…sorry.” I wanted to, but I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and touch her.
“Is that all?”
“I still think about you.” I admitted. Why didn’t I feel my age?
“You can’t live the rest of your life with guilt.”
She just kept throwing more and more at me, but I’d take it. I’d take it all until she was satisfied.
“It’s not guilt-I mean, sure I feel awful about it-but…”
But what?
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
No, she had no reason to believe that.
“But what, Alec?” Her eyes still hadn’t moved from the spot she was staring at.
“Ugh! Every time you say my name it’s like finally reaching the surface of water. I can finally breathe. That means something doesn’t it?” I tried to look her in the eyes. “It’s gotta mean something, doesn’t it?!”
I calmed down. “Elaina.” I breathed. It had been years since I’d let myself say her name that way, like it was holy. “I can’t live without you anymore. If…you can’t love me anymore, then fine, I deserve that, but if there is any chance at all that you could love me again…would it hurt to at least try? Please.”
Elaina stared at me. She didn’t move, but I knew that her brain was working. She was processing what I’d said. It seemed like a lifetime that she continued to stare at me, but then her mask finally broke.
Her hand shook as she reached out toward my face and I kept my eyes locked with hers. Slowly, she brought her face closer, her eyes closing. I didn’t move as I felt her breath on my cheek. Her lips met mine then, gently. I could feel the part of her that wasn’t sure, wasn’t willing. Just like a part of me didn’t react, more for her sake than mine.
It was that moment where it would either stop or go farther. It was agonizing, but I managed to stop myself from taking charge. But if it did go farther… I didn’t know if I could keep holding back.
Suddenly, she was kissing me again and each time it was deeper, harder. Was that my hand on her face?
I was surprised by how I felt. I was so relieved and about to explode as the intensity continued to increase.
I heard her gasp for breath, but it quickly changed to a gasp of shock. I opened my eyes to see her pulling away from me.
“I’m sorry-I-” she whimpered.
She started to walk away and I didn’t realize what I was doing until my hand was around her wrist. She stopped and looked at me her eyes wide and afraid, full of tears.
She was scared of me.
It made me stop for half of a second, until I realized that I hadn’t done anything to make her be scared of me. What was it then?
Even though part of my mind was asking these questions all the other part could do was think of her. I stared into her eyes and hoped that she could see there that she had no reason to be scared.
I pulled her toward me, slowly at first, but then that wasn’t fast enough for how much I suddenly wanted her. I was just barely careful to be gentle as I yanked her down on top of me, immediately bringing my lips to hers. I held her face and kissed her roughly, but after a minute it wasn’t enough. I wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her tighter. She didn’t push me away as I kissed her neck, my breathing ragged. She didn’t protest when I turned us over, finding her collarbone with my mouth. I kissed her again and she kissed me back. I said her name, told her I loved her, and I meant it. I really did. She said it back to me like she used to: like she couldn’t help herself.
Normally, this would have made me mad, but she said she loved me. She shouldn’t, but she did.
My energy spiked, and so did my desire for her. My hands found their way under her shirt and she didn’t say a word as I took it off of her desperately along with her bra. She didn’t hit me as I took off her pants and when I went for mine, she didn’t stop me.
She didn’t stop me….
I jerked awake like I’d been hit, but there wasn’t a sound. I looked to my side to see Elaina next to me. She was breathing evenly and didn’t move, still asleep. I watched her face and I could tell that she was relaxed. Her mouth was open just a sliver and she was suddenly the sixteen year old girl I had known. It was forever ago that she had fallen asleep on my couch during a movie and I couldn’t make myself wake her up until it was close to her curfew.
I breathed almost closing my eyes again. The excitement was gone, but I felt relaxed, perfect. I really wanted to hold her again, to feel her soft skin under mine, but I resisted. I wasn’t going to interrupt her peace. Even though I couldn’t have everything I wanted at that moment, nothing could go wrong.
My heart stopped as I heard a slamming sound in the kitchen, then picked up ten times as fast once it started again.
Shit. I thought. Who the hell-?
I got out of bed quietly, pulling on my sweat pants. I began looking around for my shirt, stopping when I remembered that Elaina was wearing it. I went out and closed the door quietly, then made a bee-line to the kitchen. I had every intention of barreling toward whoever was in there, but when I saw who it was I had to stop.
“Richard, what the hell are you doing in here?” I asked sounding just as pissed off as I felt.
Richard looked up from the drink in his hand, staring at me with those same wild eyes, except they looked worse than I remembered.
“What? No cigarette?” he asked cocking his head to the side.
I wasn’t sure if I twitched or not, but it sure as hell didn’t make me any less mad. Richard then took a swig of the energy drink in his hand and turned to the fridge ignoring me.
I started to walk toward him and he faced me again.
“Whoa, didn’t expect that.” He was being sarcastic. He actually found it quite funny.
“So, who do you have in there?” he gestured with his head behind me, to my room.
I frowned at him. “What makes you think anyone’s here?”
“Because,” he exaggerated sticking out his tongue like “duh”, “Normally you would have starting yelling at me first thing and just carted me out the door if I didn’t move fast enough.”
“Oh, I will.” I seethed.
He continued like I hadn’t just threatened him. “Which means that there’s someone in there that you don’t want to wake up or scare.”
I just glared at him, trying to decide what to do.
“Don’t worry.” He said going into the fridge again and pulling out something that was left over. “This is just a pit stop. I’m not staying.”
“How’d you get in here?” I asked, remembering with clarity that I had locked the door after I had come in.
Richard reached in his pocket and dangled a key at me before returning to his food. I really didn’t care about the food; I just didn’t want him around. He was psycho. I made sure to watch carefully as he set the key on the counter. I was going to make sure he wouldn’t leave with that again.
“What time is it?” someone said behind me with a yawn.
I was horrified to see Elaina walking into the kitchen behind me. She was running her fingers through her hair trying to get rid of all the knots in it. She was still in my shirt, but she had put her slacks back on. I had to hold back a laugh. She looked horribly cute.
Elaina hadn’t noticed my reaction to her outfit because she was staring at Richard like Satan was standing there eating my left over pot roast, which was pretty close.
I watched Richard as he started to smile.
“See Alec, I know you too well, but I have to admit you did surprise me. I knew you had something back there, but I didn’t know,” he chuckled abruptly and my anger rose. “That you had this.” He gestured toward Elaina disgustingly.
Richard began to walk toward Elaina and I knew I should stop him, but I couldn’t move just as Elaina stayed frozen. His eyes flashed to me.
“She was good, wasn’t she?” He asked quickly the crazy light in his eyes stronger. Not waiting for a response continued, his eyes flashing back toward her hungrily. “I always knew she would be.” And he licked his lips.
That did it. I was on him in a second, grabbing him by the collar. “Get out.” I said through my teeth and I shoved him toward the door.
He just continued to laugh and I was afraid for one second. That was something I hated about him. I could hold a gun to this bastard’s head and he would continue laughing.
“Oh come on, Alec. We’re buddies aren’t we? Give me one round with her and I’ll disappear, I promise.”
I punched him in the face without a second thought and stood over him, panting. He smiled as he wiped the blood from his mouth and I watched his eyes as they looked at the counter where he had left the key.
I ran over and snatched it, then stared at him again. “Don’t make me say it again.”
Richard gave Elaina one last look before he finally left.
I breathed out letting myself start to reax a little. I stuffed the key in my pocket and turned back to the counter.
I picked up the plate of food and dumped it in the garbage and I had to stop myself before I slammed the plate in the sink. I tossed the energy drink in the garbage too.
I looked up at Elaina and she looked in my direction, like she wanted to say something.
“What?” I asked, a little harsher than I had intended.
She shook her head, “Nothing.”
“No, tell me.” I said, softer.
“No,” she sighed and closed her eyes rubbing her forehead. “He’s gone now, so it doesn’t matter.”
I shook my head, slightly frustrated, but I really didn’t want to argue with her. “Just-” she said suddenly, and I looked just in time to see her shudder.
Without thinking, I walked over to her and held her like it was the most natural thing for me to do.
Had it really been six years?
