I’m trying to sleep, because I want to.
It’s all I want right now
And all these thoughts
These worries
This pain
Can just stop
They need to go away
I push them aside
erase erase erase
I want them gone.
relax. Go to sleep. Don’t think about it.
I need to sleep.
Please sleep.
There’s too much to do tomorrow.
Too much.
Breathe
Shh
Sleep
Erase erase erase
My mind is as empty as I can get it
It’s a dark endless room
A spacious void
It’s all gone
But
There is something left
My surprise in finding it there is enough to hold my breath
But at the same time
I’m not surprised at all
It’s him
Under the one beam of light
The last thing in here besides me
Everywhere I try to look
There he is
One hand in his pocket
Eyes downcast
Covered by hair
Not looking at me
But his smile tells me that he knows I’m there
Please
Please go away
I don’t want you
I don’t need you
I need to sleep
he doesn’t acknowledge me
doesn’t move
doesn’t say a word
just stands
and I can’t push him out
I can’t even touch him
No matter what I do
He’s still there
But why
Then
Erase erase erase
And I am swallowed
By some unbeckoned void
And I sleep
