I know this may seem pretentious and possibly somewhat dramatic and/or insane, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot especially lately. Not that one event caused these thoughts; things just seem to line up that way for me.
I've used the term evil before in Luck, Fate and the Whole Gang Part 2 and I essentially mean it in the same way or am further addressing the comment I made, but only a little.
I was feeling cheated for a while. By him? Yes and no. I was feeling like whatever evil has a hold of him took my soul mate away. That's not really true. The more time that goes by, the more I notice. The more little details reveal themselves as the signs that I chose to ignore.
It was like this from the beginning. He never really cared.
So that's that really. It sucks.
I loved, but never was loved.
I'll find an answer eventually even if it's just facing him somehow. Part of me wants to, just to have the chance to react. To either ignore him, show him how pathetic he is, or flat out punch him in the face.
Still, I know I don't need to do anything to cause him pain. He's going to ruin his own life all by himself and take down anyone close to him as well.
Even though I understand all of this, I'm concerned that I'm not facing my feelings. That I unintentionally put them away before they emerged and that they're slowly building and will eventually explode.
It's a work in progress guys. Time isn't allowing for soul searching. I have homework and reading and essays due weekly and what time I do have I want to spend enjoying myself not wallowing and depleting my energy that I need to pass in school. But I intend to grow this summer.
I haven't been able to find the time, the energy, or the inspiration to write creatively for you guys, but I want to. :/ Something will hit me eventually. Meanwhile, I'll read for pleasure so that my powers don't disappear.
(I should update my Book and Movie posts...but I'm lazy. You all know that. Haha.)
Good luck to you all! Relish this lovely spring weather and send laughter to the sky!!
