A Round Tuit

This is a Tuit. Guard it with you life as Tuits are hard to come by, especially round ones. This is an indispensable item. It will help you become a more efficient worker. For years we have heard people say, "I'll do it as soon as I get a Round Tuit." Now that you have one, you can accomplish all those things you put aside until you got a Round Tuit!

Puppet Heart

I gave you my heart

Handed myself over

In trust that you’d take care

Of me

You shaped me into this person

That fell to your every whim

But then you chipped away

At the building you created

And I turned to ashes at your feet

But now that I’ve began to rise

Emerge from the rubble

New and stronger than ever

You can’t handle it

You refuse to see the scars that

You made

But the results stare you in the face

You whine and plea

But I’m just as blind to you

As you were to me

And my pain

So here I stand

And while I turn to walk away

I ask

Where’s your puppet now? 

Derranged Monologue

He’s kind of a jack ass, but you got that whole soul mates thing going on, you know? The loveyousooomuchcan’tlivewithoutyouwillDIEifIneverseeyouagainyourvoiceislikeheaven’sangelsknowwhenyou’retwentyyardsaway kind of thing. *GAG* Like a major dose of serotonin straight to the brain…that you become totally addicted to…. *sigh* But still, all you want or need is to shoot up on a whole bunch of handsbrushinglipstouchingeyessmolderinglaughterheart-warmingelectrifyingstomachticklingsmellintoxicatingTHEM. ME + YOU=FOREVER *rolls eyes*Then there’s that whole he’s two thousand miles away and engaged to another girl issue….*taps foot* Don’t worry, he still lovesyoumorethananything…

To my Soul Mate…and his Fiancé

To my Soul Mate…and his Fiancé.

I love you

I love him

I can’t change that

He can’t change that

Neither can you

He loves me too

He loves you

And there’s nothing I can do

Two thousand miles away

You’re so far away

I need you

I can only need you

Like you need me

I can only need him

Like he needs me

And more

He needs me too

I wish I could make this easier

For all of us

I wish I could disappear

Give him up to you

But my heart won’t let me

My sanity

I’m much too selfish anyway

I want to say I don’t love you like I used to

More for your sake than mine

But it would hurt you just as much as it would help you

Help her

And it would be a lie

A terrible

Dark

Filthy

Lie

You know this

He knows, but you don’t

I want you to understand

Even though it’s strange

Even though, I, in your shoes

Would fill me with such a terror

That I would destroy you

If I could

And I have been there

I don’t wish it on you

And love, I don’t blame you.

I don’t blame you either

For acting the way you were

It’s how we are 

but I can't lie

Luck, Fate, and the whole gang.

I feel the need to have a sort of rant. I won't be general or implying or shy. I may very well be unkind. Needless to say, it's obvious that I intend to be quite frank and very thorough.

So to those of you that I may talk about or to, I hope you can understand why I have  to speak.

For starters, I met my soul mate when I was fifteen.

Some of you may scoff, may criticize how this could have any standing, mean anything real especially since I was so young. Well, I didn't know it then, nor was I the one that said these cursed words.

When I met him, the strength of what I was feeling was so new and foreign that I could hardly handle it. Logic went out the door. No worries, there wasn't anything beyond the infatuation of innocent beginnings. Still, I was changed, probably forever. Rules quickly tore us apart, which was probably the most painful thing. He was just out of reach for years, but when we found ourselves suddenly on separate paths, his carrying him even farther away, there really wasn't anything we could do.

Over the years, I struggled, trying to find him, trying to forget, but my dreams knew my heart better than I ever would allow myself. No matter how hard I tried, he'd never disappear.

We talked on occasion, which every time was wonderful, but he always faded into the void again.

Still, this last time was the best and probably the worst.

Devin, when you texted me that morning, I knew it was you. My phone went off and my heart started pounding, my body shook, and I could hardly breathe. Still, logic argued that I couldn't know that, so I said I didn't know. I just didn't want to be wrong and look like an idiot.

I did the best I could to keep it solely friendly for a number of reasons. First of all, I had gotten over you the best I could at that point. I was okay. I was getting by and not seeing you from the corner of my eye in the tiniest features of strangers. I still had my bad days where missing you was all I could do, but they weren't as bad as they used to be. Second. I knew she existed. I knew you were choosing her. I knew that it would never be me again. So, for your sake, I pretended. But then you, YOU made it serious. You brought heart into the conversation. And as happy as I was to finally hear from you that it hadn't just been me, that everything that had felt and was still feeling you were feeling too, at the same time I was damning you. Even though I was finally at such a peace that I could think clearly, I hated you for telling me all of that because I knew that from then on, I'd never be able to let you go. Ever. What we are is undeniable, unchangeable. It doesn't make any sense, the two of us being tied together like we are, because honestly love, we'd fight. And I say this with a smile. As much as I love you, and god knows I do, you know very well the habits of yours that worry me. It would be hard, but despite all of the various struggles we'd surely find ourselves in, I'd like to say that it'd be worth it because a relationship that was void of passion and peace, even though it'd "work" wouldn't be good enough. I don't think anyone could ever be good enough. I can't possibly imagine how someone else could feel this right, be worth fighting, waiting for. Worth enduring this pain and loneliness that I am condemned with. Honestly, I find myself thinking that for us the logical choices in partners would just be begging for affairs in the future. Sure, that's a stretch, but I know how am when I'm around you.

I do hope you understand why I had to walk away this time. I couldn't handle you leaving me again. Especially when I was finally sure. You were walking out the door and I had to slam it before you could close it, but I didn't lock it. I'm still waiting on the other side.

Do I consider myself lucky that I found you so soon? Or cursed that you're out of reach, a figment of memory? A little of both. 

I know she's a better match for you. Again, back to that "working" thing. Still, I don't want you to make up your mind before we've had our chance. You said you wouldn't, but you very well might. I just beg that you tell me yourself. Our paths have gone in opposite directions, but I hope that Fate finds it suitable for them to at least cross every once in a while and maybe even merge again.

I can't keep waiting for you to decide you can risk talking to me again. It's not fair. I really thought this last time that it would last. That we could just be. I had no intentions of interfering. I hope you know me enough to realize that. I don't cause trouble and I don't want to "fight over you," but I can't not defend myself when someone is jumping down my throat. I won't just take it any more.

I'm standing up for myself.

I've spent many years letting myself get stepped on. I was a follower, timid. I never questioned any one else for a long time, because I knew there was a lot I didn't know about the world. I still have plenty to learn, but I know enough now to get by on my own. I'm learning, faster than many would think. It really started with entering college. I was in some ways forced to sit up and pay attention to everything around me. I had to start making calls by myself, meet new people (which terrifies me, especially if they're of authority). And as soon as I started to have other opinions, take charge of things, my best friend changed. 

I have no way of knowing what caused it, but the sudden remarks of cruelty really threw me. She had never behaved this way before.

Tristan, I know you more than likely never saw it and I don't know how to make you see what you did to me for over a year. I could give several examples of how you tore me down, but I really don't think I need to. All I really need to say is that as a result, I did not feel good about myself for a long time. I felt worthless, stupid, and a nuisance. It didn't matter what I said, you always corrected me, even when I was right in the first place. My opinions, my feelings, what came from my heart was stupid, wrong, an insult to you when they had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. So slowly, so slowly you probably never even noticed, I stopped talking, stopped wanting to be around you. Came over less and less. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't just stand there and turn to ashes at your feet. You do not own me. It is not a "we," it is you and I. What is mine is not yours. It is mine. Just because we are close doesn't omit courtesy. I am no puppet. I will not fall to your every whim. Most would think that best friends would have the greatest amount of respect for each other, but I don't know where your respect for me went that I couldn't ever be right, could never deserve a thank you or an apology. And you may think that I'm oblivious, but I know that you are unhappy with where we are right now. And your indirect pleads will not make me come running. I mourned our friendship long ago. Most days I would go home and wonder how I could face you the next day, and often cried myself to sleep. And despite what you may think, it has nothing to do with Sam. I was already struggling, trying to find a way to walk away from you and I couldn't due to our history. She gave me something to find, the tiniest nudge in the right direction so I could build myself up again into the person I wanted to be. It wasn't that I was choosing her over you. I'm not hanging out with her instead of you. I'm spending time with her instead of being alone because I cannot let myself be around you anymore. It's been beyond painful. I waited. I tried to see if it would blow over, if you were just unintentionally taking your stress out on me, but it never stopped, it just got worse. I had to step back. And you may recall, I tried to talk to you about it last summer, but as always, you blew up in my face, throwing all of the blame in my direction, then ending the conversation. I cannot say anything once you've done that. You shut me out and kicked me to the dirt. You don't know any of what's been going on with the previous subject because any time I tried to talk to you about it you shut down, so I stopped trying. You hardly know me at all any more. What kind of best friend doesn't have confidence in the other person? Can't believe that they can be better, that what is in their heart is the truth?

So that's where we are. I don't know what else to do. And I know in your eyes, I've wronged you. Fine. Feel that way because I'm beyond caring anymore. I lost my best friend a long time ago. 

Both of you: Is this what I want? No. Can I change it? It doesn't seem that way. Neither of you are giving me much choice anymore. So in making things better that involve the two of you? My hands are tied and the ball is in your field.

Sam. Dearest Sam. Thank you. I can't thank you enough for how you've held out a hand, showing me that I can stand on my own feet and be someone. God knows how much I needed you. I know you could see it and I hope that we stay strong. I also hope that someday (though I wouldn't want to NEED to) I can be there for you like you have for me. Because of you I have confidence again. I can use the strength that I've always had, but didn't know what to do with it. I'm burning bridges and building new ones. 

Ladies and gents. I am slightly sporadic, a bit of a drama queen, sometimes selfish, and only rarely maniacal. (That's prolly a lie. ;P) I-am-ME. This hopeless romantic is going to take charge and walk on her own feet on the path of her choice if she doesn't make a new one all together. So get ready for a whole new ride. Don't like it? Too bad. Deal with it. :)

Fayre (Revised)

 This is my revision of Farye (duh). Hope it has improved and is satisfying! <3 Tell me what you think!
Also, there's a playlist at the bottom that assisted in this strange mood!

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I wondered to myself how I ended up here, backed into an ally up against a wall, rain running down the back of my neck and along my spine like ice. I was scared, but I wasn't terrified even though I was covered in goose bumps, fighting for breath. Clawed hands were bruising my shoulders, a low growl escaping through fanged teeth, and as a figure towered over me, casting me into darkness, I still wasn't worried about dying.



Axel was baring his fangs with his eyes again. And again, they were directed at me from across the circle of chairs. They glistened in the stage lighting, a strange effect considering the darkness of his more blue hazel eyes. It had been about two weeks. How many times did I have to say I would keep his secret?

Our secret. He would say. You're just as deep in this now as I am.

Maybe, but only because he forced me into it.

It's not like he wasn't watching me practically twenty-four seven anyway. He had even had the guts to try and follow me into the bathroom. I had to talk him out of that one.

I knew that mocking him would drive him crazy. Most didn't dare, not with the threat of his pissy temper, which I had to admit got nasty at times, but I'd had enough of him trying to rule me with fear.

I glared back, throwing all my skills of exaggeration into it, even moving forward in my peeling metal chair not caring when it screeched in reply.

The muscle in Axel's jaw jumped, the large vein on the side of his neck throbbing. His teeth appeared for a moment, but weren't the canines he wanted them to be. I knew his instinct was to snarl, and he would start yelling at me if we weren't in the middle of a class discussion.

Beauty and the Beast. Though most who were alive in the 90's know this basic tale, the theatre director, Professor Derek Ashman, wanted to go deeper than the magical surface of songs and dancing candlesticks for The Art of Performing 304 class' production. It was a pretty big deal for the university. It was the easiest way for it to get any kind of funding and with a big and well known title as this we had to make it perfect. But funding wasn't all that was on the line, for me anyways.

I had a dream. Most people do and it's what you read about: people chasing their dreams and not giving up.

My father was an agent. Or in other words he managed actors' and actresses' careers to a significant extent so that most actually had a career. He was mostly retired now, but still worked every once in a while with low key clients. I grew up with the exposure to this world of sets and cameras. I'd met plenty of divas, pricks, and wannabes, but it was the great ones that had inspired me. The way that they could be laughing with the cast and crew one moment then as soon as action was called…it would be like a click. A sudden change in their eyes and they would be someone else entirely taking control of the atmosphere in the room like a spell had been cast. Unexplainable magic.

My mother was an enchantress. She wasn't very well known, but if I had to compare her to someone it would be Audrey Hepburn. She had that power that entranced me and I wanted it. The ability to be someone else, create another world with a mere gesture was too tempting to pass up, so I had been taking acting classes for as long as I could remember slowly building my abilities until I was good enough to get a scholarship to go to one of the top acting universities in the country.

I wasn't over ambitious though. I had no intentions of really making it to big-time stardom. I just wanted to act as long as I could.

At nineteen, getting a chance to play such a huge role was rare, but I'd worked hard because I really wanted it. This part was giving me the opportunity to show what I had to offer to the industry. Several industry representatives would be watching and if I did well, one of them could pick me up.

That was the guillotine over my head and Axel knew it and you could bet he was keeping his hand on the lever. He was the one thing in my way as basically the returning champion of the school and he could easily overshadow me, but instead he chose to ignore me, at least at first.



"Okay guys! Listen up!"

My ponytail swished across my neck as I looked up from my script, leaving my legs crossed on the stool, my right foot stopped its short swinging.

Ashman had trotted onto the stage of the old theatre instead of lounging in the year-old, subtle blue cushioned seats. The stage was a little older and made the softest of creaks as he bounded toward the center. It used to be worse, but when they replaced the seats they tried to repair it. There were only a few dozen scuff marks now. Still this theatre was only used for rehearsal. "Open the tablet your memory a moment and grab your chisels!"

He'd said this last statement with an almost cheesy grin. It was a motto of his to use imaginative language at every opportune moment, which usually turned out to be extremely entertaining. His amusement caused his skin to pull at the nearly silver gray stubble hair around his ears. He was balding on the top of his head and what was left he kept short like he hadn't shaved his face in a few days. The few white hairs gleamed in the few basic stage lights that were shining overhead, lighting up the soft descent of dust from the rafters. You could only tell they were actually moving if you looked close enough.

Ashman's voice was the soft, but informative tone of an old uncle that hadn't reached grandfather hood though all of his children, if he had any, were aged. It made it easier to take direction from him, at least for me. Kindness was always more encouraging.

I was sitting just inside of the curtain on stage right and there was movement around me as the rest of the cast and crew came out from their hiding places. A few of the black back curtains swished, stirring the air around my ankles. The sound of a pair of boots meeting the wooden floor caused me to turn. My co-star was here, just barely on time as always.

Axel Bane. He stood off to the side, not close to me but still closer than he would be standing near anyone else. It could have been taken as a sign of companionship, but it seemed more like possession. To say that Axel was known around here would be false advertising. No one actually knew him. They knew of him and what he was capable of doing. To put it simply, his forte was screwing people over, in every sense, to get what he wanted. So if you knew what was good for you, especially if you were female, you tried to stay on the other side of the room he was in, if in the room at all.

Sad to say though, there were many weak young (and old) women that had fallen prey to him. He was what I would call a rogue wizard, using his ability to charm and make people believe he was anyone other than who he was in the real world. His looks didn't make him any less deceiving. He had a strong face with prominent cheek bones and jaw that lead gracefully to his thick neck which disappeared just as it met his chest into the white button up shirt that he was wearing today. It was almost disappointing.

Axel returned my glance, the hardness of his eyes nearly smacking me, in the face making me turn away. He wasn't in a good mood.

My eyes strayed to the floor, pretending to study the groves in the wood.

Everyone must have been paying attention, because Ashman spoke up again. "Finally, after bribing the jazz band with free tickets to the show and promises to get into the after party, we settled on dates for the show!"

He looked to me with an excited light to make sure I was paying attention, it was most important to me after all.

"Now etch this in your brains!" He waved his arms up as if he were a conductor about to begin a piece of music. "Opening weekend is December fifth through the seventh, and then the following two weekends after that."

There was a soft murmur around the room, but I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I was too distracted by the tension that was suddenly surrounding me, pouring in thick waves from the direction where I knew Axel was standing behind me.

I hesitantly looked at him again, and I saw the shock on his face, the slight twitch of his jaw. His skin was sunken in, his eyes nearly hollow. The expression terrified me. It seemed like he should be looking at me, but I knew he wasn't seeing anything. It was like he wanted to leave, storm from the room, his body was nearly shaking from it, but wouldn't allow himself to. Just like I wanted to run from his unseeing stare, but couldn't move.

All of that just because opening night was at the beginning of December?

Movement started around me breaking my stare from him. Props and half painted scenery were being dragged on the stage behind me. Lights were being moved, centering near the middle of the stage just as one of the prop crew, James I think was his name, placed a stool under it, turning it slightly to match the light, the legs of the stool screeching against the floor in protest. It knew it didn't really belong there, it was merely a stand-in for the intricate pedestal that would hold a rose encased in glass.

That along with the broken dressers, chairs, tables, and even part of a four poster bed that were now positioned carefully around the stage signified the scene. Belle was going to discover the Beast's treasure: His undying rose. Ashman must have told them what to do.

I shoved off of the stool, landing almost soundlessly on the stage. I picked it up and moved it to the side and out of the way.

Axel hadn't moved yet. He seemed almost frozen as if he were still contemplating leaving. He was in the spot where I was supposed to enter, middle-stage right, but he was supposed to be in the back of stage left.

I clutched my script a little tighter and walked towards him.

"Axel?" I said quietly before I reached him. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but we were working, it wasn't really the time. Still, I might have if he hadn't snapped his head up towards me, then quickly turned toward the ground again. If his eyes had been hard before, they'd concentrated into thin points, piercing me straight to my core. I caught my breath.

"Coming." He grumbled. It seemed harsher than it should have sounded.

He started walking almost suddenly to his side of the stage, his stance firm. I could see his muscles tense under his shirt, especially in his shoulder blades. There was definitely a body under there. He faced toward center stage, still not looking at anything. From where I stood I could see his knuckles, white as bone, as they crushed his script in his fist.

"Go for it when you're ready, Fayre." Ashman called, now back in his seat in the third row, one leg over the other, the script cupping his mouth so his voice carried.

I once again looked at Axel to see if he was ready and I saw it. Click. There it was: the shift in his eyes. He wasn't Axel anymore. He was ready to work. No matter what kind of person he was, that change in itself attested to his undeniable talent.

I took a deep breath and began my wandering into the half made room. I stared, timid, but curious at all of the destroyed objects like I was seeing them for the first time. The first thing to catch my eye was the dresser: drawers missing or just hanging out of the base with a number of rags meant to be old and discarded clothes strewn around it, the top right corner completely destroyed. I then looked to my right, towards the audience, but over their heads to where a tapestry filled with holes and clawed tears would be hanging. My eyes grazed other things briefly but the settled, slowly, surely on the stood in the center. As I approached it I noticed the post-it note with "rose MAGIC" scrawled on it hurriedly. Mentally, I chuckled. That was precise. I began my hesitant reach for the sparkling flower when, Axel, right on cue, nearly crashed into me, his back nearly brushing my chest. I stumbled away from the stool as he turned his back to me in order to guard his enchanted life-line.

The Beast turned toward me then, back hunched, fangs bared and the anger, the pure hatred seething and burning me from its very gaze.

I couldn't remember where I was, what I was doing, who I was. The only thing I knew was those fierce yellow eyes and the fear that was building inside me at the very second.

My vision wavered as if there were too much static and became more and more distorted until it all came crashing into focus, the Beast's arm shooting out towards and then through my chest straight toward my heart.

Heat pulsated around me, concentrating and pouring into the hole in my chest through the Beast's arm. Then everything began to rattle, its roar sending vibrations like an earthquake. I fought to breathe my only other instinct, to get away.

I suddenly found myself running off the stage. My stomach was turning like a hand was trying to squeeze everything out of it. Despite it all, somewhere in my mind I realized that running off the stage like this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing in terms of the script, but I didn't stop there. I crashed through anyone and everyone in the path towards the back door, not really hearing or seeing any of them. As soon as the sun met my skin I vomited over the railing.

A moment later I heard a sports car screech much too quickly out of the school parking lot.



Axel woke up to silence, darkness, loneliness. The bed was much too big for one person, which wasn't really the issue since he was bigger than most people anyway and a smaller bed would be uncomfortable. Still, he always found himself on one side instead of the middle, leaving the other ready and waiting for someone else to occupy it. The absence rang white noise in his ears that ached in the cavern of his chest.

He blinked at the dark canopy above him as the sweat running down his neck from his hair cooled. The prickled velvety texture faded in and out of his vision. It was a sapphire blue this time. He couldn't say how many times he'd replaced it over the past few years. This one would more than likely change soon when his dreams got worse.

These ones had left him with a comforter nearly torn in half, twisted around his legs almost enough to cut off the circulation in some places. He could see his stomach through the stretched threads. The edges were still clutched in his hands.

He untangled himself from the now useless blanket, swinging out of bed and planting his feet on the chilled wood floor. His hair was courser, longer as he ran his hair through it, than when he'd gone to bed. A harsh breath escaped him like he hadn't just been breathing.

Fayre Kendrick.

It had been her in his dreams, encased in his arms fitting perfectly against his chest in a canopy of roses. She'd looked right at him and saw everything with icy blue eyes that were too bright for such a fragile face. She hadn't been afraid. Everything felt right.

It had been the best dream he'd had in years, until the roses grew their thorns, tearing Fayre from him in a bloody and what had to be a painful death. What had made it the worst nightmare that he could remember was her scream that'd felt so real that he'd reacted. He had to buy a new comforter now, but he couldn't think about that, the scream was still echoing in his head.

Axel stood and paced the room a moment, his heart still pounding too hard for him to sit still. He peeked between the curtains at the sky that was becoming more indigo than black over the trees. In an hour or so it would be sunrise. He let the curtain fall back with a sigh. He wouldn't go to school today, his skin still tingling with his curse. The same curse that was delivering Fayre on a racetrack to his clawed grasp.

Axel didn't bother to turn on the light in the adjourning bathroom once he stumbled in. He gripped the rims of the sink once he turned the water on, watching it hurdle down the drain into nothingness. He wet his face once the water warmed and stared at his reflection as the water dripped off of his face. Small hints of yellow circled in his irises, taunting him.

She wasn't strong enough. She couldn't possibly be. Not after how she reacted the other day on stage. The terror and panic that was enough to make her sick simply from a glimpse of his true nature was proof enough that she couldn't handle what was happening, but it didn't change that she was the one.

Axel knew that, when someone came along that could save him, he'd feel it. It had been when she was waiting to do her audition with him for the part of Belle. He hadn't seen her, but he'd known she was in the room-like the sound of a whispering spirit, its message too distorted for him to understand anything other than that it was meant for him.

Both times he almost hadn't made it home afterwards, the first time making it as far as the sitting room, but this last one had him barely closing the front door before he'd lost control. There was still a mess in the foyer. It was a good thing he had moved the china cabinet after nearly destroying it a few weeks ago.

It would be different this time. He had to be more careful to not put so much on her at once. Take it at a slow and easy pace; reveal one thing at a time as she was ready. It took him more than a year to come to terms with his situation and another to understand it. He couldn't expect anymore of her. Still, she didn't deserve it. None of them ever did. He wished he could just leave her be, disappear, but it never worked that way. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't ignore her. Time was running out.



Axel didn't show up to class for the next three days, so there wasn't anything I could do. I tried not to let his absence bother me. They said he often disappeared like this when he felt like it, like we were meant to work around his schedule whenever he felt like it. There were rumors that he had some strange disease.

A tug on my hair distracted me. Chelsea was head of costume and make-up, so she was taking advantage of the fact that I had nothing to do. She had yanked my hair out of its tie and was twisting and pulling it briefly into various styles. She was going to try all of her hair and make-up ideas on me. I didn't have to concentrate on anything, so maybe I was grateful for the distraction and somewhat relaxation of just being able to sit while she pulled and poked at my head. I didn't want my mind to wander too much, but even though I didn't want to think about what had happened, I couldn't get it out of my head.

What had I seen? Had I taken my method of acting too far? Was I sick and imagining things?

Unless I hadn't imagined it after all. No. That wasn't possible.

Should I go to a doctor? Was the stress finally getting to me? I was sleeping alright, I knew that.

So then what was it? Why wasn't he here? What about the dates had bothered him so much?

I hadn't been able to sleep well the past few nights. When I had actually fallen asleep, dreams kept waking me up, but I couldn't really remember them. Except there was something about roses.

When I arrived on the fourth day, Chelsea came up to me, her lips set in a small pout.

"Axel's still not here, huh?"

"Nope." I said, in what I hoped was an absentminded tone, not meeting her eyes and flipping nonchalantly through my script.

She put her hands on her hips with a slight whimper.

"I think I've finally got down how I'd do The Beast costume with his face structure and body shape. I really need to try it before too long."

I shrugged. "Nothing I can do about his PMS."

"You can't drag him down here as the leading lady and his co-star?"

"No." I answered sternly.

"Oh, I think you can." Professor Ashman came up behind us with a confident smile. "He often gets sick and won't be able to come to class for another week or so. I called and left him a message suggesting you two try and work outside of class so at least you're doing something."

My heart instantly began to pound. I didn't think I ever wanted to see him again, especially alone. I stared at Ashman as he continued like the panic wasn't clear on my face. "Why don't you go over there today and see if he's willing. It'll be really good character development!"

"I really don't think-" I began.

"Yes you do." Ashman interrupted. "It's the only way you won't be bleeding when the sharks come." And without another word he walked away pleased with himself. I was terrified, but what choice did I have?



I'd parked my car across the street from the address the professor had given me and I couldn't believe my eyes. There was no way he lived here.

In front of me were at least ten foot tall iron gates that opened to a path that seemed to go on forever to a mansion. No, this wasn't a mansion, no way. The only way I could describe this place was a castle. It was colossal with more windows than I dared to count scattered across its entire surface signifying several floors. But that wasn't all. There were towers that were capped with points the whole place scattered with gothic arches. From this distance it didn't appear to be made out of stone or brick, still, I meant it when I said castle.

I was about to turn back when I noticed a car parked in front of the place.

I came up to the gates not sure if I would be shot if I touched it. I tapped it with the tip of my finger and I didn't fall to the ground so I pushed it open. It was surprisingly lighter than I had expected it to be, but it still took some effort.

I closed it behind me as it gave a resisting creak and began to walk down the barren path towards the house. The path was mostly gravel and dirt which produced a light brown colored dust as I walked. It was surrounded with what was once green grass for at least a few acres, but what plants were left were dried looking weeds. The path itself was lined with the remains of waist-high hedges now dead and bare; their branches twisting around each other like the twirling metal of barbwire. All of this matched with the colossal building looming over me and the tall gates at my back, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was walking into a prison.

As I walked I came up with a million and a half reasons why I should go back to my car and leave, but I just kept going, watching the castle grow taller and taller over me. I had two scripts in my bag in case his was too destroyed from last time for him to continue to use.

It seemed ages later that I finally reached the door after also climbing some steps. It was dusk and no lights had been turned on. The place seemed hauntingly abandoned.

I rang the door bell and heard its tones echo endlessly. So it sounded as though it was as large on the inside as I had guessed. I waited, but no one came to the door. I rang it once more and then it swung open harshly.

I took a step back as Axel faced me in the doorway, his breathing strained, sweat running down his bare, defined, chest. The kind you only saw on movie stars, but that you thought were CGI anyway.

He glared at me. His mouth set in a deep frown.

"What are you doing here?" he snarled.

It took me half a second to be able to respond. "Ashman said he called you…about us rehearsing since you're…um…sick?"

One corner of his mouth turned up into a wicked grin as he turned away from me. He snickered. "Like I need to rehearse."

I felt my temper rise as he walked away from me, but he didn't close the door in my face. I stomped inside, slamming the door shut behind me.

"Well maybe you can consider gracing us with your abilities, so that the rest of us can actually get something done." He was not going to ruin this for me.

He turned and smiled at me like that was exactly what he was going to do and I wanted to punch him.

"They don't need me to get anything done. You do." He leaned back with his arms folding across his chest, confident, relaxed.

"What?!"

He snickered again. "They can get plenty done without me, at least for the next few weeks, but you can't."

"That's not true! I-"

He continued like I hadn't spoken. "And I'm too ill to go to class."

"You are not sick!"

He still spoke over me.

"That's why you are going to stay here, take care of me, and rehearse until you get it right."

"Until I-?!"

"Starting today."

"I will not-!" I started as he grabbed my arm, dragging me farther into the dark crypt. It was only now that I noticed only a few lights were on in the foyer and they were dim. I couldn't make out much except for the marble floor and plaster walls.

I tried to fight against him, but it did little on his grip, let alone his stride.

After a moment, a light flipped on and I had to squint for a second.

Before I could see, he picked me up and set me on a stool. When my eyes finally adjusted I found myself sitting at a decently sized island in the middle of a kitchen. Its top was the same dark marble as its surrounding counters and floor. The cabinets were an interesting red wood color, taking up most of the wall space in the room. It was about the size of a common living room with a counter circling most of it as well save where the pantry and fridge were. I quickly pointed out a toaster, coffee maker, microwave, and blender scattered along the length of the counter, but other than those utilities, the kitchen was bare, spotless. It looked like the model of a new home, a picture in a magazine; no one actually lived in it.

A cook book suddenly skidded across the island, stopping in front of me.

"Find something to make and-"

"Excuse me!" I stood from the stool. I'd had enough. "I am not making you dinner. And I will not stay here and rehearse with the likes-of-you!"

I saw the genuine surprise on his face as I spun around, heading toward the entryway. I fully intended to bee line out of there when I was yanked back. Axel crashed me against the wall, pinning me there with his legs.

He didn't speak, only seethed through his teeth while staring me in the eyes. I was back on the stage, unable to move, to speak, tearing from the inside out as fear consumed me. The animal in his eyes was so tangible I felt it as though he was stripping my soul with them.

Everything began to quake again and I felt my body give out, but I didn't fall, Axel's body held me up.

My vision failed, whether or not my eyes had rolled into the back of my head, I couldn't tell, but it didn't stop me from feeling Axel's hot arms sliding under my body. The one hand that had caught the small of my back clutched my shoulder gently, the muscles in his arm flexing against my shoulder blades. My legs rested in the crook of his other arm. I knew he was carrying me, especially surrounded by the sense that I was floating. He was walking…I could feel that too, but I couldn't focus enough to see where he was taking me. I could only notice what my body was sensing. My heart pounded in my chest, roaring in my ears, to match my shaky breath that was rattling out of my mouth. My limbs tingled unpleasantly.

"…stubborn."

Finally, Axel's scorching heat was gone and cool fabric gathered around me.

Without warning, my vision returned just as the sinking sound of a lock turning into place echoed through the room.

I scrambled out of the bed straight towards where I thought the sound came from and slammed into a wall. I groped for a handle and found the hinges first, my hand sliding across the smooth surface until it met the cold metal. I yanked on it every way I could think of but it didn't budge.

No.

"Axel!" I yelled, my voice a lot weaker than I had expected.

"You can stay in here until you calm down." Axel panted from the other side of the door. I could practically see him leaning against it in that cocky way like he owned everything.

I shook the door again. It rattled in protest, but didn't give. "Axel, let me out!"

"You didn't give me any choice, Fayre." He made it sound like it was obvious.

"What do you mean? Why couldn't you have just let me leave?!" I hadn't realized it, but my body was giving out on me again. My forehead rested against the door and I was slumping against it as my eyes swam with hot tears.

"We don't have time for you to be indecisive." He sounded tired and annoyed, but he wasn't the only one.

"You're crazy." I mumbled, forgetting that he was just on the other side of the door.

His laugh was dark, without a trace of real humor. It felt like he was whispering it right in my ear and it made my skin go cold.

"If only it were that easy." He answered, then his footsteps began to fade down the hall.

I pounded my fists on the door, sending burning pain through my fingers to my wrists. "YOU BASTARD!" I hollered.

I stood there for an agonizing moment, my ears straining for some sound that he had come back, but they found nothing. I stumbled backwards, nearly falling when I met what had to have been a bed post. I grabbed it for balance, attempting to lower myself onto the bed, sliding harshly to the floor when I missed.

My breath was coming out in short gasps, shaking my body as it passed back and forth.

I had seen it again.

Those eyes so inhuman that freezing was the only thing I could think to do were stuck in my head.

Maybe I was crazy.

But then why was he keeping me in here?

He couldn't be so extreme about doing well on the play that he would keep me here and if so, I shouldn't be around him. I had to get out.

I forced myself to my feet, my body protesting as it continued to shake. I couldn't stop myself from holding my hands out in front of me. I couldn't see anything and there was nothing to hear. What made it worse was that the room was cold causing the hairs on my arms and hands to stand on end.

I shuffled forward slowly, but that didn't stop me from ramming into some sort of table. My leg throbbed, but I continued on, my survival instinct must have been kicking in. I went a little slower and finally found a wall. It felt much like the door had, wooden, polished, and I reached my hands out on either side as far as they could go, maybe I'd find a light switch.

The fingertips of my left hand brushed fabric. I inched in that direction until I was able to take the material in my fist. Curtains? A window! I fought my way through the curtains searching for the cool glass, but met more wood instead. Confused, I searched further, discovering the edges of several planks of wood. The window that was there was blocked off. My one escape was barred. Had he intended this room as a cell?

Defeated, I began to sink to the floor again, my hand running into something, then slamming into some table. I righted myself then felt for what I knocked over. Cool, scratchy, and curvy. My hand patched at the object until my fist closed around a light bulb. I tried the switch and nothing happened, it just clicked as I turned it endlessly. I pulled on the cord until the prongs nipped my fingers.

I wasn't going to try and find a plug just to possibly electrocute myself. So I had no light, but I had a weapon for when Axel came back.

I didn't know how long I had sat there, but I had the lamp in my hand at the ready. The leg that had encountered the table began to throb at some point and I rubbed it a little with my sore hand. My hand would be fine, but my leg was definitely going to bruise. The only way I was getting out of here was through Axel and the second he opened that door I was leaving.

"Are you civil yet?" I jumped at the sound of his voice, calmer than the last time I'd heard it, but thick with pride.

He opened the door, the small bit of light that was coming from the hall outlining his shape and I threw the lamp. I had no idea if it met its mark, but I barreled my way out of what I thought was the door. I found myself in Axel's arms instead. I didn't give up. I hit, kicked, and screamed at him, my fists pounding at hard flesh, but he didn't seem to budge. I still managed to push through him and I ran as fast as I could down the hall. I didn't bother to look at my surroundings other than the next turn or opening in the hall ways. I have no idea how many corners I'd turned when I'd found myself in the foyer.

I almost went straight out the door when I remembered that to drive my car I needed my keys, which were in my purse. I searched my arms, my purse wasn't there. The last place I remembered having it was the kitchen.

"Fayre!"

The sound of Axel coming after me sent me running again. I skidded into the kitchen seeing my purse sitting next to the stool at the island only barely illuminated by the counter lights. I reached out to grab it when I was turned around, two arms wrapping around me like thick branches trapping me against an immovable tree.

His face was tense with anger and there was no way I was getting out of his arms, "Finished?" he snarled.

"I'm not staying here." I stuttered weakly.

He leaned forward until his mouth was at my ear, "Oh yes you are." He whispered, "Or this production doesn't happen, and we both know what that would do to your career."

For once, I was absolutely speechless.

Then, without warning, Axel fell with a sickening thud to the floor, a thick stream of blood running down the side of his head.

I stepped out of his arms; still panting as I watched his chest rise and fall quickly, sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Part of me just wanted to head straight to the door, but another was telling me that I couldn't leave him there bleeding. As much as I tried I couldn't get that part to shut up and quickly went in search for a phone.

I gave a sigh of relief when my search wasn't long and I found a cell phone on the kitchen counter. I dialed 911 and held it to my ear. It rang twice and someone picked up.

"This is 9-1-1. What's your emergency?"

I opened my mouth to speak when the phone disappeared from my hand.

As I turned, Axel spoke into the mouthpiece.

"Oh, sorry. I pushed the wrong number on speed dial. Sorry to bother you." His voice was so convincing, I almost believed him. I would have felt the need to give him credit if I hadn't been terrified when I heard the beep as he hung up the phone. I meet his eyes and he glared at me, the color back in his face and redder than ever, the bandage gone, the only evidence of the wound being a bit of dried blood in his hair.

"That was really stupid." He seethed through clenched teeth.

"I was only trying to help." My voice was so weak it made me cringe.

"You've helped enough!" he spat.

"Well maybe I wouldn't have thrown anything at you if you weren't trying to keep me here!" I yelled back.

A pure wild roar erupted from his throat and I backed into the counter as he advanced on me. He stood less than a foot in front of me and the air seemed to swirl around him as he fell to one knee. He was changing.

His hair that was normally short grew at least two inches longer, hiding his eyes. His clean, shaven face, now visibly covered in somewhat thick stubble. His mouth twitched and went from being slightly open to having fangs bared. And lastly, like I had expected, his fingers curved, the nails growing into thick, sharp claws.

Axel took three, deep, ragged breaths and then looked up at me with fierce, piercing yellow eyes. I gripped the counter as my knees went weak, but it didn't manage to hold me up. His eyes followed me as I sank to the floor.

My heart pounded in my chest with what I was sure was fear. When Axel finally spoke, his voice was rough, harsher than I could have imagined possible, but maybe it was just the words he said.

"Now you can never leave."

I knew death was potentially staring me in the face, but all I could think was how this all made sense.

He said he didn't need to practice.

Everything fit. His manners and behaviorisms, his habits and disappearances. He was The Beast.

I couldn't stop my curiosity.

"How old are you?" I stammered.

He chuckled. It was the worst kind of chuckle I had ever heard. It started from his chest and rolled its way out filling and chilling me to the bone.

"Twenty-three." He answered, his eyes never leaving my face, bright and menacing, a wicked smile crawling through his lips.

"I'm not the original beast from the story, if that's what you're thinking." He stood and then knelt in front of me, his hot breath flowing across my face. "I'm much different."

He flicked my lips with his tongue and I shuddered. I closed my eyes, ready for the blow. I knew that this was it, one way or another. I could hear Axel as he sniffed me, his nose gently grazing the surface of my body.

"How did this happen to you?" I whispered before I could stop myself. The sorrow that had suddenly filled me overpowered my fear.

Axel stopped his inspection and raised his head until our eyes were level. His expression was still, serious, as if he was considering not answering my question.

"I'm not really sure." His voice grumbled even at the low volume and I could feel it in my chest. "There were many…wrong things I'd done…and I guess someone thought I deserved to be punished for it."

Axel let out a long breath from his nose and pushed away from me. He scooted against the nearest wall into shadow, but I could still see enough that when he closed his eyes, I didn't miss his claws slowly retracting, his body beginning to relax. When he opened his eyes they were back to their unique hazel, but his stare was primal enough that I didn't want to move.

His look told me he was waiting for me to say something, "Didn't you try to find out who-?"

"I didn't get the chance." He interrupted, closing his eyes again, exhausted of the whole ordeal. "In the beginning I would black out so often that when I could stay human for more than a second I'd find myself in the middle of summer when the last thing I remembered was thinking about Christmas presents. I went through at least another year like that, though the black outs became shorter, before I received a package. The letter that was inside asked if I was enjoying my true self then gave their reasons for doing this, proving that it was real, and that there was only one way to stop it."

"How?" my voice was small, timid. Even though most of his words made sense my brain refused to process it though it wanted to know more.

"You don't need to know." He said quickly.

"Why not?" I snapped. He'd broken the magic with his curt reply. He was dragging me into this; at least he could give me the whole story.

"You already know too much." He wasn't looking at me anymore, his fists clenching. He was shutting down.

"So what would knowing everything hurt?" I sat up a little more, so that I wasn't cowering as much. "Maybe…" I bit my lip, not sure if what I felt like I needed to say, what I really wanted to say would offend him, but I had to say it. "Maybe I could help you…figure it out."

Axel didn't seem to respond to my comment, still staring at nothing, sure of his fate.

"I've already figured it out." He finally mumbled.

"So what do you need to do?" I pressed, trying to stay calm and kind, but the anxiety must have been settling in because my pitch rose.

"Keep you quiet." His eyebrows rose as he fed off of my reaction, he was being sassy now.

I stopped myself from throwing my purse at his cocky, messed up, beastly face. "Fine." I'd forced my voice to normal tones. "My lips are sealed."

I crawled up from the floor, using the stools for support, my shoes strangely loud as they settled on the marble floor. I'd grabbed my purse on the way up and clutched it as I faced him. He still hadn't looked at me, his hands on his knees still and helpless. "I'll talk to you in a few days."

I started to walk out of the kitchen almost hesitantly afraid that he was going to say something else when his subtle scoff stopped me in my tracks.

"You don't get it, Fayre."

I didn't turn back around. I couldn't look at his expression with what he was going to say settling in like a thick smoke around me.

"I wasn't exaggerating when I said 'never'."

I choked, trying so hard to dam the tears that were swelling in my eyes, my face growing hot, and my hands shaking.

"You either stay here or I will have to kill you." He pressed. I could tell he was trying to sound threatening, but it seemed more like the truth pained him. "So you can fight me all you want, it won't change anything."

I knew I couldn't walk away from this and I knew that none of it was going to be easy, but if I was a prisoner, then fighting was exactly what I intended to do.



"Director, Axel looks like Fayre bit him in the ass and he's about to eat her again."

Joyce. She was really bored of everyone's issues but her own, yet she still felt the need to point them out. She flipped her fading dyed black hair over her shoulder, pursed her black lips and stared at her peeling nail polish. At least her black tank and jean skirt weren't faded, but her combat boots were getting close.

Axel probably could. I was small enough at a height of five-five and one hundred and twenty pounds for him to easily eat me, poop me out, bury me in the backyard, and piss on my grave just to show me he could.

A sinister smile crept up his face, like the Cheshire Cat, but with not quite as many teeth, for now. It was like he knew what I was thinking and was considering it.

"Someone needs to get princess here a Midol." I muttered. "On second thought, somebody run to the store and give him the whole box. He's too big for double the normal dose."

Big was another understatement. At six-four, and at least two hundred pounds, he was colossal, a monster.

Axel sat back in his chair, crossing his legs and folding his arms after brushing back his hair, the smile tamed to a thin line of lips. I felt like this look let me read his mind.

You'll pay for that later.

If I cringed I didn't realize it, but I must have done something to get Axel to start shaking with laughter, which turned into a near 'buahaha.'

"Okay okay." Ashman chimed in, cutting Axel off, but the sneer remained.

Ashman looked at his script avoiding our eyes, but it was clear he was amused.

Did he want us to hate each other?

I was rethinking wanting him as a reference when Chelsea stood up.

"Oh my God! Their compatibility is killing me! PLEASE can we have the angry sex scene?!"

A unanimous 'No' rang through the theatre and Chelsea sat down, trying not to let her lip quiver.

"Are we actually going to rehearse today?" Axel hissed through his teeth. He sat strangely still, a wall over his eyes.

"No." Ashman answered with disregard, continuing to flip through more papers that appeared out of nowhere.

Axel flew out of his chair, grabbing his coat from the back in one swift circular motion and strode off of the stage.

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my bag. This was both of our last class for the day and if I didn't go with him now, he'd leave me here the rest of the night then yell at me tomorrow for not being fast enough.

"Sorry." I mumbled at the class. I felt bad when it came out sarcastic and snippy. They didn't deserve my reactions to how he tortured me.

The side door had just swung closed, a small sucking sound as it settled in the frame, the latch clicking into place in sync with the long horizontal bar handle retracting from the door. I pushed it open and was met with a wind chilling my face and ankles, the setting sun blinding me. I hurried out and scanned the back parking lot just as Axel's car pulled up at the sidewalk.

Just like everything else in his life, his new, red, sleek, silver rimed Corvette was absolutely ridiculous. He honked, his frowning clashing with his vehicle, the top was down despite the cold. I pulled my coat tighter around me trying to get my hair to warm my ears so there'd be less of a chance of having to cut them off later and hurried down the steps.

Axel was jumping the car forward impatiently every few seconds and only stopped long enough for me to put one leg in the door before he sped off, throwing me into the stiff leather seat.

"Door!" he barked.

I pulled in the door just before it would have collided with the twenty five speed limit sign on the sidewalk.

He shook his head; "If you ruin my car-" he started over the wind.

"If you were just more patient and drove the damn speed limit then there wouldn't be a problem!" I snapped, slamming on my seatbelt.

"You have serious anger issues." He chuckled, eying me carefully.

My jaw nearly hit the floor, I couldn't help it. I was the one with the anger issues?! If that son of a bitch thought I needed anger management, he was going to see just how managed my anger was.

Axel pulled out of the parking lot as I was about to open my mouth and not bothering to slow down, as always, he turned right when I expected him to go left.

"Where are we going?" Did he not realize he went the wrong way?

"Downtown." He answered, like it was such a bother to have to explain everything to me.

"Why?" I whined purposely.

He sighed quickly not bothering to look over his shoulder as he pulled too fast into the left lane to pass the car already going well over the speed limit in front of him, "Because cleaners are coming to my place today."

"So?" I twisted my hair behind my head in hopes the knots would be less severe. What did that have to do with anything?

"So, I make it a habit of not being there when they are. I only call them when too much has been…ruined by my mood swings. Avoiding explanations is ideal and the less they know the better." He had gone from being annoyed to serious, his arms tense under his jacket, hands red on the steering wheel, his face blank, the only thing moving was his hair being whipped around his head in the wind.

I couldn't really argue with that, so I shut my mouth for the rest of the drive, finally capturing my hair in my hood and wrapping my arms around my chest to keep warm.

I felt the absence of my cell phone in my pocket. Axel had taken it from me "for the time being." It wasn't that I really had anyone to talk to all the time that would miss me. It was just that if my parents had known I was going to be kidnapped by a literally monstrous actor then they wouldn't have gone to India for a reunion with some of my mother's old friends for half a year only checking in on me every once in a great while. When they did call, I'm not sure they'd think anything of me not answering.

Night had fallen when he finally came to a stop in front of a small grocery store. It was wedged next to a gas station and an old warehouse with only a small alley way separating them. Axel was parked horizontally over top two parking spaces, though I don't think anyone would have given him a ticket considering the lines were hardly there and the pavement was so cracked and full of pot holes most would have to park diagonally to avoid the holes.

Axel unlocked the doors holding in front of me a fifty dollar bill and a slip of paper between his two of fingers.

"What?" I asked without taking them.

"Go in there and get the things on the list." He hunkered down in the seat. If he was meaning to relax or hide, I couldn't tell.

With a sigh I took the money and list, stepping out of the car on the lookout for holes, but still managing to nearly trip over the parking curb.

I looked at my suede boot that had scrapped on the cement and found a nice gash in the material.

"Great." I mumbled.

"Don't take too long." Axel chimed from the car his seat now laid back. One arm was over his forehead, his sunglasses still on his face despite the inherent lack of sun. "But don't rush either. They won't be out of there until seven."

"Okay." My voice rose a few octaves. I wasn't sure how much more of him I could take. I mean, asking me to keep a secret and even threatening me a little is one thing, but keeping me pretty much captive in your house and making me do errands for you is another!

I nearly stomped into the store, the bell tinkling softly over my head, but was ripped out of my thoughts by the strange silence that only low service, low customer flow, and low…yuck, maintenance stores could have.

Hot dogs covered in a thick film of shiny grease were rolling in an automatic case, the machine making small whirring sounds as it turned, sizzling as hot grease dripped through the cracks. Short isles of chips, candy, and first aid lay out in front of me, closely surrounded by glass-doored refrigerators along the walls full of most kinds of drinks, but mostly liquor.

A man was standing at the counter laughing with the clerk. He was purchasing a six pack of Budweiser and three boxes of cigarettes even though it was clear that he'd already had enough of those. I could smell the smoke on him and saw the lingering alcohol in his droopy and out of focus eyes. That along with his wind leathered face and peppery grey hair that was more on his face than his head; he looked very much like an old blood hound whose drinking water had been spiked after a good hunt.

They both turned to me when I walked in after their laughter had died down. I nodded and gave them a small smile, then quickly walked into the first isle out of their sight. I felt they would want to watch me so I wandered about pretending to decide between the dozen boxes of bandages. Round or straight? Plain or pink ones with princesses?

When the man left, I concentrated on Axel's list. Oh look, he needed band-aids. I grabbed the princess box then took my time with the rest, using slow steps and concentrating on each item like I had more options to choose from than there were.

The clerk didn't say anything as I paid, his face set in a perfect "I could care less unless you pay me" scowl, but held Axel's fifty up to the light. His expression didn't change as he brought it down and opened the cash register.

I returned to the car, the top still down even though a light drizzle had started. I wasn't sure where the clouds had come from, but they glowed from the lights of the nearby city in a way that made me want to be walking its streets, even in the rain. I threw the bag down in the seat to find that Axel wasn't in the car. I threw a look around the immediate area. Axel wasn't in sight. No one was in sight. There was hardly any light around except for three dim, scattered street lamps.

I debated waiting in the car, but sitting in an expensive vehicle alone and completely exposed seemed like a very bad idea. There wasn't anywhere Axel could have gone anyway, not without his car. If he was trying to teach me some sort of "lesson" for mouthing off at him today, there was no way he could accomplish that by leaving his car behind.

I sauntered over to the alley trying not to make too much noise in case there was something, and by something I mean a furry Axel, to startle.

"Axel." I called softly, hoping I didn't have to be very loud for him to hear me.

The alley looked deserted and still, the only things in it being a big green garbage can that needed to be emptied (there are always big garbage cans in alleys) and a door to the back of the store. There were no monsters back there. I wasn't sure where to look next, but I was going to at least try. I turned around when a distinct slumping sound made me spin back into the alley. Did I think about running from the scary noise like a normal girl? No. I was looking for the beast.

"Axel?" I said again a little louder as I peeked around the garbage can.

Axel stood over a heaped body at his feet, blood soaking his coat sleeve. I couldn't see much, an arm, a foot, and the blood hound's face contorted, his neck bent at an angle I was sure wasn't physically possible if the neck was still connected to the spine. A high pitched, blood curdling scream would have been appropriate at this point, but all I did was gasp. That was all it took for Axel to turn on me. I could hardly see him, he was no more than just a dark blur surrounding me, grabbing me and throwing me against a wall. There was instant pain in my head and back, but I could ignore that with the throbbing ache that was quickly building in my shoulders. Axel's beastly clawed hands were tourniquets on my body.

His eyes, they were probably the worst part, yellow, fierce and animalistic. There wasn't a trace of human left in those eyes. Death, instinct, that was all they knew. A near purring sound rolled its way through his fangs as he parted his mouth around my throat. It was here that my mind bothered to notice that the drizzle had turned into a rain and was running down my back and dripping off of Alex's hair onto my neck making me shiver. Icy prickles were concerning me more than the creature with its daggers poised to strike my nearest vein.

"It's me Axel." I whispered, locking eyes with him, maybe I could find something in there. "It's okay."

I couldn't say what really happened next. Everything was eerily still and I could suddenly hear the rain over our breathing, falling soft, constant. It was like a piece of music that you could never remember the words to and I found myself calm, peaceful. Nothing mattered in that moment until abruptly, painfully I found myself alone.

Panic set in like a hot poker in my stomach. Where had Axel gone? What had he done?

I scrambled upright and ran out of the alley, water soaking my legs as I didn't bother to watch for puddles. I didn't care. The car was still there, filling with water, but again I couldn't see Axel anywhere. Who knows how far he could've gotten by now as fast as he was?

I ran to the car, praying that for whatever reason he'd gotten out of it in the first place caused him to be careless. Yes! The keys were in the ignition. I jumped in front of the steering wheel, cringing for a millisecond as the puddle in the seat seeped through my jeans, then fought with the driver's seat, I couldn't reach the peddles. I groped underneath until I found the metal bar I was looking for, slamming it against the bottom of the chair until I scooted the seat far enough forward without ramming my face into the steering wheel. Finally I was ready when I pulled up the seat so I could see through the windshield. I started the car, closed the top and sped out of the parking lot too fast. Damn touchy pedal. I rocked in the pot holes and prayed I didn't scratch anything, but I wasn't sure what would bother Axel more, me ruining his car or not finding him before he possibly bled to death.

I drove and drove looking down more alleys, up streets, in crowds. I couldn't find him. Not even a trace. I was worried out of my mind to the point that I could hardly keep my hands steady. For all I knew, he could be huddled in some rotten pile of trash dying and I wasn't there to help him.

Maybe he'd gone home.

It wasn't too far from here and I'm sure he could make it on his own.

I was out of options. Out of ideas. It was a whim, but I took it, driving back as fast as I could.

The rain was relentless when I finally pulled out front. I turned off the car, slammed the door shut and didn't bother to grab the grocery bag or lock it as I ran inside. I had dried a little when I was in the car though I'd still felt damp, but that didn't matter, I was soaked again.

It was dark in the entryway. Even though I had been in near darkness for several hours, I couldn't see much in front of me. I knew the whole place had just been cleaned. I knew the floor had to have been waxed. I knew I was dripping on it. I knew he was here.

I had no strength left to call for him so I went straight to his room, throwing on the light. Nothing stirred. I went to the kitchen, the bathroom, the back patio, the halls and I found no one.

I pulled my legs to my room, heavily, silently. I was so tired, but God damn it, Axel, where were you?

He had to come back eventually. He would be okay. I'd seen him heal before. He'd be okay. He had to be okay, because I couldn't be anymore.

I reached out for the door knob and it fell away from my lazy hand, opening with a slow, nearly earsplitting creak. Didn't they bother to oil the jams?

I leaned next to the door against the wall and nearly slid down it, but managed to stay up as I yanked off my boots. They make a sucking sound as I forced them off my feet, landing with a sploosh on the floor. My socks were next. They dripped like rain clouds of their own in my hands. I was slipping my coat off of my arms when two much bigger, much stronger arms wrapped around me, trapping me against the wall.

"You're okay." Axel mumbled. It was hardly a whisper, he was panting.

"Are you okay?" I asked, still panicked trying to push away to get a look at his arm, but he would let me move.

His face was in my hair, then grazing my cheek. "He…almost…hurt you."

Was he talking about himself? The beast in him? Did it seem like a different person in his eyes?

When his lips parted over my neck this time, there were no fangs behind them.

"I'm…okay." I stuttered, the strain I'd just put my body under settling in. I ached all over.

Axel's arms were suddenly tighter and he lifted me against his chest, backing up into the bed. He turned on his side, letting me fall to my back, then laid his head in my lap.

"Fayre." He whispered, then almost abruptly, he fell asleep.



When Axel's eyes opened again, he almost didn't know where he was. He could hear a heart beat in his ear and it wasn't his own. He looked up to see Fayre leaning against the headboard of the bed, eyes closed, face relaxed, her breath coming out slowly and softly, he barely heard it over her heart.

He didn't move his head from her lap continuing to watch her and relishing that he could. He noticed a few strands of her hair that had a slight more wave than the rest, still damp from the rain.

The rain made him think of the man in the alley. When he had left the store, he had gone straight into the alley and was waiting for Fayre, a knife twirling in the light.

Axel rubbed his eyes. There was more blood on his hands, but at least it wasn't hers.

Slowly, he pulled his hands from his face, instantly turning his attention back to her. He took in the curve between her shoulder and neck and the angle of her collar bone, soft shadows cascading off of her light skin. Now he noticed the bit of skin that was exposed from her shirt sleeve falling off of her shoulder as she slept and the shining bruise that resided there. A memory flashed in his mind, back in the alley again. He had done that to her.

He desperately wanted to sit up and tend it, make sure that that was all he'd done, but he didn't want to interrupt her sleep, especially if she was only going to be in pain when she was awake.

A weight settled in on his heart as what he'd been denying revealed itself as inevitable. He couldn't protect her from himself. Their lives were forever intertwined, the only escape in death. He was going to take advantage of what time he had left. She'd had the opportunity to leave him and let him die alone, but she came back. Part of her must have cared and he wasn't going to let that go to waste. He was tired of pretending.

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