To my Soul Mate…and his Fiancé

To my Soul Mate…and his Fiancé.

I love you

I love him

I can’t change that

He can’t change that

Neither can you

He loves me too

He loves you

And there’s nothing I can do

Two thousand miles away

You’re so far away

I need you

I can only need you

Like you need me

I can only need him

Like he needs me

And more

He needs me too

I wish I could make this easier

For all of us

I wish I could disappear

Give him up to you

But my heart won’t let me

My sanity

I’m much too selfish anyway

I want to say I don’t love you like I used to

More for your sake than mine

But it would hurt you just as much as it would help you

Help her

And it would be a lie

A terrible

Dark

Filthy

Lie

You know this

He knows, but you don’t

I want you to understand

Even though it’s strange

Even though, I, in your shoes

Would fill me with such a terror

That I would destroy you

If I could

And I have been there

I don’t wish it on you

And love, I don’t blame you.

I don’t blame you either

For acting the way you were

It’s how we are 

but I can't lie