What Do You Say?

 This is something I just wrote that would go to another project that I'm not allowed to talk about. ;) But I felt it was well done, and special...so I wanted to share it. Hope you like it. Comment.

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He was suddenly close enough that I could smell him. Not the shampoo he used or any type of cologne he'd put on, but his scent. Then just as I was starting to feel the warmth of his mouth next to mine, I pulled away, feeling so sick that I could hardly swallow.

"I'm sorry. I-" I heard him mumble, still somewhat close to me.

I shook my head my eyes to the floor, "No, it's not you." I could hardly find my voice.

"Then what is it?" He asked with a saddened humility.

"I-I don't know. I just…can't." I was beginning to shake inside out.

There was silence for a moment and I could almost feel his hesitation. "It's because of that…guy…isn't it?"

My mouth lost its ability to move.

I heard him shuffle, sigh, then begin to walk out of the room. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything but stand there and shake.

"I mean, why can't you just…let go of him or something?" the sudden frustration and slight anger in his voice surprised me.

"I don't know." I managed to say.

"Yes, you do."

I wrapped my arms tighter around myself and began to move anxiously. "I don't know! I just-It just feels so wrong! Maybe I'm just…scared of letting go, even though I've tried. Maybe I'm just so afraid that if I do I won't have anything to hold onto anymore," I started to turn around to face him "that I'll just-"

I never finished the sentence. I never finished the thought. Somehow without me noticing, Rob had come up to me and in an instant, took hold of my face and pressed his lips to mine.

It wasn't like an expected first kiss, timid, asking for permission, but full, challenging, and powerful.

I didn't fight it, and I didn't want to. It was natural; breath, skin, oxygen.

It was like my will, my fear, was gone in an instant, the bottle that I had been keeping that part of myself in shattered, the lock around my heart broken.

It was what I needed, and somehow, this man knew it.

We stood awkwardly for a moment, but finally met each others' eyes. He looked at me softly.

"Don't let fear keep you from taking chances." He said wiping a tear from my cheek that I hadn't known was there. "You might miss something important."

I couldn't stop myself now. Every tear that I hadn't shed for him all these years came pouring out onto Rob's chest and he took them without hesitation, eventually sitting us on the couch.

I calmed down, breathing him in, the peace I had been beginning to feel in his presence taking hold. I took note of how easy being with him like this was as I laid my head comfortably between his neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Nothing to be sorry for." He answered, taking my hand hesitantly.

I squeezed his in return, searching for his lips again, feeling the final chains falling off of my wings once I did.