Stop and Smell the Roses...Oh Wait...Are Those Bees in My Nose?

I'm just going to warn you now of a lack of class that's about to take place. If this could possible offend you, I suggest you don't read. If you find this amusing, we must fist bump immediately. 

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Can we take a minute and talk about kindness? 

I would just...really like that. 

Oh, and in that kindness there must reside a maturity, which you clearly seem to lack. 

You, in all your shallow and judgmental glory, are not kind. Are not a friend. 

Friends, don't use each other. Friends, don't make each other uncomfortable for some strange sense of pride or vengeance.

So while you go and stuff yourself full of charitable bullshit, I hope you realize the loneliness you'll one day face. 

You will push them all away. They will know what it was like being in your seething shadow. And though I would love to do everything in my power to prevent this, it seems to be on a way street to that dump. And I will be there to take them out again. You'll be left with your cruelty and no one to subject to it but yourself.

How's that for food for thought?

Talk About Bittersweet

I've accepted that I'm not a bird person and I don't want to be sad, but I can't help it. Even if it's better. Even if things probably would have just gotten worse... because there was love, saying good bye hurts.

My room is empty again.

I gotten my first bird to keep me company because I was lonely. Because the person that was supposed to be my best friend had left a gaping hole and I needed something to fill it. I feel like that void is going to come back, but I have a suspicion that it's not a real fear because I have a new best friend now and other best friends that I'm actually investing in. And they love me. And take care of me.

I also really think that this is a big step to get my life where I want it to be.

This was a responsibility that I needed to let go of, because I was neglecting a responsibility to myself due to it. I have to get to the point where I have the means to take care of others. That's just not right now.

Look What the Clouds Dragged In

I'm doing better. :) I think that's evident with the few posts that have been made, but we're not dwelling on that. 

there was no thief relient k mp3 | lyrics

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"There Was No Thief"

For a time I thought there was a thief among us
I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit
The smoke had cleared and to my disbelief
There was no thief cause it was me
That lost you

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back (Oh oh oh oh)
And I understand why you wouldn't want to (Oh oh oh oh)
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

And I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shining?

Oh
Oh

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back 

If you're considering me the speaker. You are mistaken. 

Strangely, this song is not making me hopeful. It's giving me something to understand whether it's accurate or not. It's a point of view that I can grasp and learn to let go of. It's easier than considering malice. 

I don't believe it was malice.

So it comforts me and that's the only explanation I have. 

I've come to accept the reality of it all. It's still a little painful, but it's not taking over my life or my thoughts. I'm moving on and I hope that soon it'll be to an even greater degree.